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We Don't Get to Choose

For as long as I can remember I have prayed for God to use me. I have prayed for Him to make my life an example that would draw others to Him. In praying this prayer, I never thought that He would use me the way that He has. We don’t get to choose how God moves in our lives. What we get to choose is how we respond to what is happening. We get to choose whether or not we will continue on the journey even when it doesn’t feel good. God has answered my prayers over and over in many different ways, ways that I did not get to choose.

I never thought that I would become an angel mom at the age of 23. Then lose two more babies after that. The most recent loss being less that two weeks ago as I am typing this. I did not ever think that I would experience a traumatic birth, life in the NICU and so much more. But this is the story that God has written for me. While the pain at times has felt unbearable, God has graced me and anointed me for this journey. In my seasons of pain and trials, I got to know Christ on deeper levels. I gained strength that I did not think was possible for me. Most importantly I came to realize that I needed to reach back to encourage those who have been and will one day be in those shoes.

I choose to share my testimony and my journey openly because I want others to know that there is HOPE! I am proof that it gets better, you get stronger, you gain wisdom and you have a purpose. My son is proof that miracles do happen. My family is an example that joy is possible after loss.

I have created this blog in hopes that someone will read it each week and know that they are not alone. If you have experienced pregnancy loss, prematurity, parenting a medically fragile child, in a season of waiting for your womb to be blessed or just need reminders that you can do hard things; this blog will be for you. I look forward to sharing my heart with you all in the weeks to come.

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