These words I will remember for the rest of my life “he has fought so hard. he is tired now; can you be here in ten minutes”? I sat on my bed holding the phone as a doctor from the neonatal intensive care unit spoke those words about my son. My son whom I had given birth to at 26 weeks, weighing less than two pounds, just two months earlier. My son whom God had blessed me with after losing two children. I could hardly process what was happening in that moment.
The pain that I felt I was unbearable. I could hardly breath, speak or stand. But I knew that God was in control. I recited Jeremiah 29:11 over and over “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future”. God had a plan for my sweet boy, and he was going to live. I believed that! And he did!
I wish that I could share with you all every single miracle that has taken place in his life since that day, but there’s just not enough space here. But I will share with you what has happened in my life since that day. A beautiful exchange has taken place. An exchange between God and me. He gave me a level of faith that I never believed I could attain. He has given me a heart that desires to share His word and serve His children. I now fully understand that I am the hands and feet of Christ. I can boldly share of His goodness and faithfulness because I have lived through seasons where that is literally all that I had to depend on.
I have come to a place where the mourning of that season has been taken away and replaced with unspeakable joy! At a time where I could have chosen anger and despair. Where I could have turned my back on the Father and felt as if He had forsaken me, I chose to draw nearer to Him. I made that choice because I knew that no matter how long it took or how painful the road got; my faithfulness would be rewarded. Romans 8:18 tells us that the suffering we are experiencing now cannot compare to the joy that is in store for us. No matter what you are facing in this season, do not lose faith. After you have suffered a while there will be an exchange. God will give you beauty for your ashes and joy for your sadness.