I used to ask myself that question more than fifty times a day. I felt like there was so much I didn’t know about being a mom. There was so much I didn’t know about the NICU, the diagnoses that Isaac had received, the therapies he needed and the list goes on. I felt like everything I was doing was wrong. Then I came to realize that God had graced me to be his mommy and I was more than capable of caring for my son.
Despite what your social media feeds tell you, there is no perfect way to parent! Getting advice is totally fine if that’s what you choose to do. But do not overwhelm yourself with other people’s expectations of who you should be as a mom. It seems like everyone has the answers but you, right? I know. I have been there. But let me tell you something, nobody knows your child better than you. You were your baby’s first home. Even if you’re like me, and the time was cut short, that fact still remains.
None of us are the perfect mom, but you are the perfect mom for your sweet baby. Nobody else will love and care for your child like you. Even at those moments when I had to place my baby with medical professionals for care, when I had to trust that his therapists knew what he needed, when his NICU nurses were in charge of his daily routines; I was still his mother. When I could do nothing but sit next to his isolette, I was still his mother. He knew my voice and my touch. I was doing something right. How did I know? I knew because I wasn’t giving up on him. I loved him with every part of me and I was willing to do whatever was necessary for him to make progress. That made me the perfect mom for him. And that applies to you too.
Even if you can’t do much for your child physically because of things you can’t control, your love is enough. Your presence is enough. Your will to keep fighting for your baby is enough! When you are your child’s biggest advocate and cheerleader. You are doing it right, mama. When your house is a mess and you can’t keep up with everything, you’re still doing it right. As long as you are doing your very best, that’s enough. Some days will be better than others. But no matter what, don’t ever forget, the perfect parent does not exist. But the perfect parent for your child is YOU!